I realized this evening that I left out part of what I had planned on writing earlier this afternoon. Well, planned on is probably a bit misleading. I had a tangent of thought which was heading in another direction but got sideswiped by another rogue tangent which came out on top. So…here we are now.
In thinking about my relationships, I feel like I need to adjust a statement I made in a previous blog. I mentioned having only one real regret which I would go back and change if I could. Then today, I mentioned the expression of love which I learned last summer, and left out the other aspects which I’ve learned along the way. This, among other things, led me to remember what a good friend of mine told me a few years back. She said that she didn’t believe that there was really only ONE person for someone to be with in their lifetime. I was aghast, but she went on to explain what she meant. She expressing an idea that there are different people for different seasons in our lives. As far as marriage goes, yes, we both believe there should only be one. But along the way, the idea that any relationship prior to “The One” doesn’t have to be classified as a mistake, or the “wrong” one. They were the right ones – for that time.
There have been many seasons in my life, and a handful or less characters of mention to go along with them. Looking back chronologically, there was one which taught me how to have a ‘normal’ relationship, there was the longest relationship wherein I learned a lot about myself and life. The one I loved enough to marry taught me that I was capable of such love – something I had previously thought impossible. Even the bad memories attached can’t overshadow the good of that relationship. Last summer, I learned what love with restraint looked like, and what affection through affirmation rather than lust could be like. That led me to the most recent chapter…
And I realized that I can’t shove it off in the regret column. There are some of my most painful memories within that time…but there are also some incredible memories and lessons as well. I look back with mixed emotion, and it can fall to either end of the spectrum depending on the day…but all that is being muted to a more manageable reflection.
The ones who I have shared my life with along the way have taught me much. They may not have been “the one”, but they were indeed the ones for the season. Three are married now, one’s spoken for, and the other…well, it’s anyone’s guess. I am thankful they chose to share a portion of their lives with me.
