Considering what I do for a living and the kinds of mindsets I work with, it really shouldn’t be such a surprise when I encounter a way of thinking so drastically different than my own. Even beyond work, there’s been many unique circumstances I have lived in and through which have brought me to a place of being (in most aspects of life) quite a well rounded individual. I’m not closed minded in that I’ll listen and do my best to understand another person’s perspective. Of course, that certainly does not guarantee me conceding to their position, but it does open the mind up to potential new opportunities for learning.
In most situations where I encounter a difference of opinion, there’s at most an element of irritation or or a frustration that the other isn’t giving my viewpoint nearly the kind of consideration I may give theirs. Even these little snags in psychological equilibrium are short lived and rarely carry on to mean anything. The exception to this rule usually coincides with the first statement of the above paragraph. It’s times when I am knocked sideways and taken aback that my insides start to tussle and I don’t quite know what to do with myself.
I’ve alluded to relationship issues lately, but with little detail to flesh it out. I’ve avoided spelling it out for a few reasons; first, I try to keep specific personal details involving another person out of the public forum; second, I am well aware of certain people who view this and will either be hurt by what is said (him), or will assume they know what and who I am talking about and be pissed/hurt/incredulous/ridiculous about it (her), even though more than likely their assumptions are incorrect both in subject and content; third, the situations mentioned aren’t necessarily about the same person or persons from blog to blog. No, there’s isn’t a harem of random characters, but there are different kinds of relationships – all of which have to do with different people.
The reason for mentioning this tonight is due to my wrestling with my perspective and his on a number of interactions we have had recently. I struggle between seeing things my way – meaning that my wishes should be respected and not ignored in favor of his (I’m not a “my way” person…but in this circumstance, both parties involved should have equal say), and seeing things his – we’re both similar and have similar tendencies, so of course I’d want what he wants. Nope.
I began this blog a bit earlier and have since conversed with a mutual friend of ours to sort through some of this ish. At this point, what I’m looking at is how I would feel about things if he wasn’t who he was – if there wasn’t a pre-existing relationship (any sort of relationship, really). This stance puts things into perspective…and it’s not such a stellar light to see someone in, sadly. How much do we excuse away of the ones we care about simply because we’re unwilling to see things for what they are? If what we live through was happening to someone else, what would we advise them to do?
There’s that sadness, again.
