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The Blog with 8 Things

{ June 15, 2009 @ 11:09 am } · { G }
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Jenn tagged me in this.  It’s her fault.

8 Things I am Looking Forward to:
1. Arizona with Brian to visit Steve and Erin!
2. Less days ending in Y coming up!  (That’s our joke for days he doesn’t work…stemming from a conversation where he said he was working that day and I said “Well, it’s day ending in Y, so yes”.)
3. Girl time with Jenn.
4. Finally making decisions that are somewhat good for me.
5. Dad date to see UP!
6. Turning more pages.
7. Bike rides this summer on my new beach cruiser.
8. School in the fall

8 Things I did Yesterday:
1. Drank Absinthe in the wee hours of the morning.
2. Took a nap with B.   
3. Watched said man hit a homerun at his baseball game!
4. Ate dinner at Tommy Bahama’s
5. Fell asleep during Wall-E
6. Discovered that people in San Juan Capistrano are kinda rude.
7. Bailed on an airbrush appointment. 
8. Sang in the car.

8 Things I wish I could do:
1. Lose weight instantly
2. Be SUPER motivated to play soccer and run and do all the things I used to before my 5 month Exodus. 
3. Fly
4. Get back to The Shack
5. Quit my terrible not so fun but can’t complain about it job.
6. Go on a worldwide travel adventure.
7. Have my Grandma immediately healed and pain free.
8. Live up to my own expectations.

8 Shows I watch:
1. House, M.D.
2. Royal Pains
3. Mental
4. Top Gear
5. Dollhouse
6. Survivor
7. Glee!
8. NCIS

The Blog That Is What It Is

{ February 23, 2009 @ 4:48 pm } · { G, Poet }
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Hi, God.  Can I come home?

I’m tired of feeling like I’m here on my own.

It’s been a while since I felt You were here

It’s been even longer since I knew You were near.

 

I know I’m supposed to be thankful and glad

That You gave me life and the plan You had

But God, I’m tired and I’m afraid I’m done

I had faith in much, but now there’s none.   

 

I don’t want to go out completely dead

Can I come home now, when there’s just a little bit left?

To be honest, I’m not even sure that’s true

I’m lost.  I’m broken.  I can’t find You. 

 

I’ve tried everything I ever was told

To get back to Your Presence, and out of the cold.

If things are going to change, then please change them fast

I don’t know how long I can last. 

The Blog About Forgiveness

{ February 17, 2009 @ 3:24 pm } · { G, The Silver Lining }
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We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.

- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I look back to my High School years and remember few details.  I can remember being somewhat dorkyawkward, since I only went there for three classes a day and did the rest through Independent Study.  I remember having varying shades of red hair – everything ranging from a deep orange to a dark raspberry/purple color.  I wore a lot of black back then, too, and had a mild obsession with Buffy The Vampire Slayer.  I also was helplessly addicted to Altoids and would go through about a pack every few days as they were somewhat of a coping mechanism for me.  I did plenty I am glad I don’t remember clearly, but even those things I know weren’t so bad.  What I know also is that there were plenty of painful wrongs done to me – but I can’t for the life of me tell you exactly what they were. 

Back then I had no issue letting go of things that really did not matter.  I had a few disputes with friends, but each of them would be forgotten and discarded by weeks end.  I could have remained hurt with plenty justification, but I honestly couldn’t tell you a week later what had happened that was so wrong.  My friendships meant more than that.  They were far too important, I was far too forgiving, and things just moved right along without that nonsense getting in the way.

Somewhere along the way, things changed, as they so often do.  I went from forgive and forget to try to forgive and kinda shove it aside but still glance at it from time to time.  I didn’t mean to start holding grudges, and for the most part I’ve managed to keep from doing so.  Back then the hurts ranged in severity, and perhaps that’s where the shift began – the levels of severity sure have deepened over the years.  In High School, it was “You’re new girlfriend can’t accept we’re friends and decided to make a rude and undeserved phone call to me last night” – one of the few examples I can actually remember.  In recent years, the debt has been far greater.  Still, only few have managed to linger like paper cuts that you think are healed, until you touch something acidic and you’re reminded of just how not-done that whole situation is.

There’s one in particular that has managed to linger, and with its lingering comes a gigantic wall between me and just about anyone I choose to hold near and dear. 

I’ve wrestled with this one for the past three, going on four, months.  Perhaps that’s not so long considering the years-long grudges some hold against others.  I didn’t consciously decided to be angry, nor hurt, nor anything else.  Somehow along the lines though, my “forgiveness” really didn’t take hold. 

I’m tired of it.  I’m tired of seeing him and feeling a part of me recoil in revulsion.  I don’t want to have other people in my life put up with me rambling to them every time our paths cross and I want to go cry or break something.  I’m tired of trying to rationalize or over-analyze the situation - do a play by play of who’s responsible for what in a hopes of somehow undoing the wrong that was done.  Thing is, wrong was done.  Something very wrong was done, and there’s nothing that can take that back.  Whether he “Gets it” or not, the reality is still there.  Really, all that’s in my control is whether I choose to give it that hold or not. 

I’m gonna say no.  Enough is enough. 

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.  ~Paul Boese

 

The Blog In Winter

{ December 20, 2008 @ 11:09 pm } · { G, Uncategorized }
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I’m feeling the beginnings of a horrendous cold.  My eyes are aching, my head hurts, nose is painfully aggravated, throat is sore…yep.  The next few days have the potential to catapult the start of Christmas week into the land of unwell.  I’m not overly stoked.

Asher and Me in the park.

Asher and Me in the park.

Its been a while since I’ve written.  It feels like I’ve been opening these things with a statement in kind for the last few posts, so I’m thinking I should either remedy the situation or shut up about the obvious.  There’s been plenty of material, certainly, but there’s also been a lack of time.  The new job takes up far more time the the old one, generally keeping me out of the house for a good 10 hours a day.  Asher isn’t so excited about this reality – something I feel pretty terrible for.  But hey, we took some fun pictures in the park this morning.  My mom humored my idea to get a few winter shots of the two of us.  No, I’m not a crazy pet parent.  Ash is a big part of my life, though and pictures seemed fitting.

I’m wading my way through a new season in life.  I’m not too excited about parts of it, and other aspects are just downright uncomfortable.  I’m torn about certain decisions and unsure about which paths to take.  Relationally, I’ve had some amazing time with close friends and family lately.  My friendships which go back to High School I have become so fond of and thank God for three in particular who’ve been through it all with me.  As for other relationships…any further and I’d only speak in code anyhow.

This whole trusting God thing really is turning out to be a life-long obstacle course of learning.  I have to admit, I’m not doing so great with it at the moment.  As the year is drawing to a close, and every day draws me back to its corresponding date last year, I’m still uncertain and unsure.  The cool thing is…God already knows that.  He loves me anyway.  I use the word ‘Amazing’ too often…but in this setting, it’s quite fitting.

The Blog On Memory Lane

{ November 13, 2008 @ 9:40 pm } · { G, Me }
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I’ve been re-connecting with quite a few people from the past lately.  Whether they be ex-relationships, or former close friends, there have been many cameo appearances in this life of mine.  Each of them holds a unique memory and place in my heart.  At the place I’m at now, I’ve realized with no small amount of joy that these people are perhaps still around for a reason – but also realize with some sadness, that the friendships and community I’ve been searching for in all the wrong places was right here all along.  How much time and heartache could have been spared by simply opening my eyes and seeing these for who and what they are.

NZAnother character is one who earns mixed reviews from those who have been around a while.  He is, however, one who has never fully managed to escape my heart.  As a lost and missed friend of mine once said “there are those who etch their names on the walls of your heart”…and he is indeed one of them.  His is likely etched the deepest, and talking to him tonight makes me wonder why.  Not wonder in a bad way, rather wonder why he’s STILL there, when I have in the past had a remarkable ability to move on.  Yes, I’m moved on…but there’s still something there.  I know MY reasons why, but I don’t know in the grand scheme of things why.  Funny how the heart works, really.

Memory Lane is an interesting place to wander – and one I am at this moment enjoying re-visiting.

The Blog With A Football Game

{ November 6, 2008 @ 10:18 pm } · { G }
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Today was a glorious day, in most regards.  Work was pretty cool, as it has been the last two or three days.  There were some great fire-extinguising moments, a restraint or two I was part of, and quite possibly one of the cooler moments I have got to witness while working with the kids – an impromptu staff vs. students football game at P.E.

I brought my class out at our designated time only to find the entire PE area filled with students and quite a few staff.  Upon further observation, it turned out that most of the male staff and nearly four classes worth of students (also all male) were gathered together playing the game.  Unless you’ve got a decent idea of the kind of population I work with, then this won’t seem remarkable in the slightest.  I work with Emotionally Disturbed teenagers who are too violent or have too many anti-social behavioral problems which prohibit them from functioning in a public school environment.  The majority of them are on the not-so-bright end of the intelligence spectrum, but all are there for unacceptable behaviors which have manifested in the past and caused them to be kicked out of whichever school they came from.  Some have a criminal record, some have probation officers, and some are just F-ed up.  Throughout the week, we handle their violent behaviors (sometimes going hands one, which I have written about previously) and seldom do we get to see what most would consider to be a “normal” kid when interacting with these.  During most days, the amount of pro-social interaction between them, between them and staff, and especially both on a large scale is minimal.  To witness them today gathered together playing football – it was as if they were just any other kid playing a game with the guys.  They were happy.  You could clearly see the element which is usually missing in their eyes and demeanor – a near childlike joy at being “one of the guys” with men who they (whether they admit it or not…mostly NOT) look up to and see as authority figures.  There’s something endearing about watching an older generation of men engage with, encourage, and build up the ones younger than them.  As I watched the toughest of our guys, including the boss eventually, playing around and joking with these kids so starved for positive attention – I turned into such a chick.  Yes, I even ran inside to get a camera to document the moment.

That’s the thing though: it’s the seemingly mundane moments in life which can hold such joy if only we look just a little bit closer.  My heart did acrobatics this afternoon, and the memory still makes me smile.

The only downer was the usual post-meeting funk I usually fall into after leaving work on Thursdays.  I have yet to pinpoint exactly what it is, but there is something that triggers me every single time and I usually end up leaving the school either in tears or wanting to assualt something.  I have ideas, to be certain, but the precise issue that sets me off I’m not sure about.  Today I drove away and headed towards a park nearby.  It’s a park I used to frequent late last year and early this.  There’s an acorn tree there which I have spent many hours amongst its limbs, whether solo or in the arms of another.  I had intended to visit the tree today for some quiet time, but there were several questionable characters lingering in the parking lot when I arrived.  The tree is somewhat set out of the way and is a bit secluded…logic prevented me from venturing out there solo, considering my arrival was clearly observed.  Instead I stayed in the van, wrote for a bit, and dozed for a few minutes before driving home.

The end of the day isn’t too remarkable…just family time and dinner.  The football game…there is my highlight for day.  I’m not sure how many people will get the picture I’m getting at.  I can hope some do, as it brought me a hearty dose of happy.

The Blog About Change

{ August 26, 2008 @ 5:14 pm } · { G, Legitimate Insight }
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Anyone who has been following for the last year or so knows that there have been a significant amount of changes in the life of yours truly, especially within the last few months. I look back, as I previously stated, and squirm at many of the things I said and did in response to those around me. As I said to my counselor yesterday, I was living in a state of “reaction”, rather than “interaction”. Sounds a trifle corny, but it’s the best word choice I could come up with in the moment. What I meant was that I had been perpetually on guard and defensive, so anything anyone said or did around me was reacted to in a far more angst ridden, dramatic, and ridiculous manner than it would have been normally. Instead of relaxing and focusing on relating to people when and as the interaction happened, I would instantly wall up and shut down at the slightest provocation. There were maybe one or two who managed to avoid this fate with me. The main one in question was physically only around for five or six months, so you can gather how many people in my life I was an ass to.

As I said in the opening, though, a lot has changed. By no means are all my problems solved and my relating to people perfect…but the core of unrest which I lived with has found its self stilled. I always felt this inner turmoil and writhing with myself – a constant battle between my head, heart, past, present, and a general lack of peace about who I was and what I was capable of. It makes sense to me now why that was.

I’ve been seeing a counselor for the past five or six months. I originally started seeing her every-other-week, then we moved to a weekly session as circumstances I found myself in escalated considerably. Yesterday’s session was pretty cool for a couple reasons. First off, we bounced some ideas back and forth about The Shack, as it was her who assigned the reading. If you haven’t gathered the unwritten recommendation, I’ll outright strongly recommend reading this book. It’s by William P. Young, and it’s a bit out there in some areas, but if you just let yourself go with it and follow where it leads…you won’t be disappointed. Anyway. We talked about the book and came to some awesome conclusions – none of which would make sense to anyone who hasn’t read it, so I won’t bother attempting to relate them to an unfamiliar crowd.

The rest of our conversation was pretty much me telling her about my previous week and everything that had happened since we last met. It is strange to think that it was only a week, as the amount that took place (to no one but myself, granted) is huge. Part of what I told her was the conclusion I alluded to earlier. The concept of being “still” on the the inside; finding rest and peace within yourself, about yourself, and in whatever you choose to place your faith in. I’ve spent ages at war with myself and anyone who’s been close to me knows this. The beautiful part of last week was that the war reached an end. The turmoil stilled. See, you can’t build a person or a life on a shaky foundation. When you don’t place your faith and identity in something solid, you are bound to falter. In my case, accepting – not just being told and saying “yeah, yeah” – but really accepting God for who he is and what he says about me…completely liberating. That void which has a thousand cliche’s attached to it, is a legitimate void which indeed needs filling. Most women try to fill it with Guys, or materialistic possessions. Men usually try to fill it with work, sex, or wealth. All these are placebos. They do the job for a season, but they can’t sustain you through the worst life has to offer. Only One can.

I’m trying to veer away from preaching, as that is hardly my intention, so we’ll move on to where the above realization has left me: stable. Not searching for something or someone to validate or complete me. No, I’m not perfect. There are things I would change about myself, certainly. But none of that matters. In the past, I’ve felt like a sixteen year old pretending to be 23. At 24, for really the first time, I actually feel my age. And it’s kinda awesome. I ran into one of the amazing guys I spent time with last year on Sunday…and didn’t have some odd emotional reaction when I had to rain check on the offer of coffee just to maintain the integrity of my “No guys” till September agreement. May sound like something silly, but that’s kinda huge considering who it was.

The great thing about the new mindset is that when it comes to guys, I’m not in a hurry. Last week was filled with (not so) random tangents of thought which went back to the various men in my life and their definition of “love”. Any guy I’ve gone out with has had their unique way of caring about me. Some encourage, others affirm what they see, some are gift givers, others are more physical, or talkative, or whatever. That’s not what I’m referring to. It’s not just the action, it’s the heart behind it. What kept coming to mind was a brief time in my life last year. One who loved, not in the romantic sense (though yes, there was an element of that), but in the way God originally intended. He showed restraint when it came to being around me. He never demanded, or objectified, or was overly this or that. And in the end, he loved enough to let me go. At that time at least, it wasn’t the right time. Really, it wouldn’t have been the right time for ANYONE and me back then. See, on several levels, I NEEDED him. What frustrated me and left me confused was that he didn’t NEED anything. I could enhance his life, sure, but he wasn’t searching for something to complete him. He already knew who he was, and who God made him to be. I didn’t know how to deal with someone that self sufficient.

Now I get it.

It’s awesome to be able to enjoy people without somehow demanding from them. It takes the strain off of relationships when you both know who you are and can enjoy the other for who THEY are, not what they have to offer. That whole love thing, the way it was intended…I get it. I don’t have it, it the human sense, but I have a better picture of what it looks like. If the guy from last summer was brought along for nothing more than to demonstrate this, then for that I am thankful. Whatever God’s plan is for that side of my life, I’m ok with. He knows best. His timing is perfect. Even when we don’t understand it or think He’s ignoring or abandoning us – He’s still God.

Change can be unsettling. It is certainly a process, as I have to retrain myself to think a different way and stop basing my sense of Alright by the actions of other people. The coming months will be bringing plenty of changes, to be sure. Some of them quite welcome. Some are a bit frightening. Others simply hurt. My counselor put me back to every-other-week as a result of our last meeting. It makes me smile. I think I’m getting one or two things right.


The Blog About Birds And Love

{ August 23, 2008 @ 6:47 pm } · { G, Legitimate Insight, Quoting the Brilliant }
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“You, on the other had, were created to be loved. So for you to live as if you were unloved is a limitation, not the other way around…Living unloved is like clipping a bird’s wings and removing its ability to fly. Not something I want for you…Pain has a way of clipping our wings and keeping us from being able to fly…and if left unresolved for very long, you can almost forget that you were created to fly in the first place.” -God, in The Shack

As I mentioned in a previous post, I am reading through The Shack this week. I am on my second read through, but this particular selection is pulled from one of the two most profound and thought provoking chapters in the book, and it got me in the first round. I found such truth in this paragraph (which is actually pulled in parts from several paragraphs, but what was removed is internal dialog of the other character which doesn’t affect the context or intention of the selection above) that I felt the need to re-post it. It’s one of those things which I can’t put into words that well, but when I read this portion of the book, something shifted.

I have always judged myself based on my mistakes and how far I have fallen short of people’s expectations…whether it be parents, friends, people of supposed importance, or even God. I have defined myself by my mistakes and declared myself unlovable because of it. This is silliness, really. It is also completely limiting – crippling, even. To live under the weight of alleged disapproval can be an overwhelming burden to bare. Actually accepting that regardless of flaws, regardless of faults, I am loved fully and without condition by God…it brings a freedom like no other.

The difference between God’s love and the love we know as humans is that, unlike humans, we can never “let God down”. In order to let God down or disappoint Him, there would have to be expectations to be met and fallen short of. The cool thing about God (and the thing that rocked my world entirely) is that we can’t possibly let Him down…because He doesn’t have expectations to be met. He loves. He loves. He loves. End of story. He loves without condition. He loves simply because we are His. To me, at least, when faced with the awe inspiring truth that I am adored beyond all reason by the God of the universe…the rest of this world and it’s nonsense does indeed grow strangely dim.

Another interesting shift has been the one about where I choose to set my focus. The past few months, or nearly a year really, have been focused on a small group of characters. I recently learned that where we fix our eyes, therein lies our hope. No wonder I felt so hopeless up until recently. My eyes were fixed solely on my situation and the lives of those around me. Hope can not be based on people. Hope is found in God.

“Perhaps when all you see is pain, you lose sight of me?” – God, in The Shack

How true that pain has the ability to blind us to the very presence of God. We sit wallowing in our own misery and expect God to show up and fix everything. God is already there. He never left. Regardless of what we feel (or more accurately, DON’T feel), God is who he says he is. We’re just too preoccupied to see Him.

I wish there was a way to articulate all that is going on in my head and heart. It can’t be done, for now. There’s just too much. Only this time…too much is NOT a bad thing.

Music is the soundtrack of emotion. This video is just a glimmer of what I’m trying to get at.

The Blog With the Baby

{ June 3, 2008 @ 6:35 am } · { G }
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I was excited for Saturday night. I had plans with my best girl friend to go over to one of her band members houses. In truth, it was the guy himself who had invited me the day before, and I passed along the idea to my friend. From what I’ve seen, this guy’s awesome. There’s something in his eyes and voice which I find incredibly endearing. He has a girlfriend, so that’s not a real possibility. What’s more, he has a child.

It’s the baby which made my heart melt that night. This little boy is about nine months old and he is perfect. He’s beautiful, bright, and has the sweetest temperament possible. He immediately accepted me as a part of his world as I joined him on the floor and encouraged him to crawl over and sit on my lap. We hung out for a few minutes and holding this small child in my arms stirred my heart as it hasn’t been touched in a while. In only his diaper, the softness of his skin and the trust he put in me as he grasped my fingers for support as he walked across the living room floor – it made me long for the dream which has long occupied my dreams of the future.

I watched throughout that night as the baby’s father interacted with the child. He is an amazing father. Completely in love with his son. At the slightest stir heard from upstairs, he would immediately vault up the stair case towards his son’s bedroom. His heart for this baby was such a great thing to witness. The morning was even better, though. As I went upstairs to say goodbye, he lay on the bed partially under the covers with the boy cradled by his arm next to him. The baby was contentedly drinking his bottle while his father watched. Once again, I felt that tug on my heart.

Maybe it’s because of the draw I feel at times to this one or it’s because of the sweetness of the child, but the scene is one I have trouble pushing aside. It also represents something which I long for in this lifetime. Both the relationship with the significant other (though, his personal situation is somewhat less than stellar and likely on its way out) and the love of a child of my own. I’ve had this reality presented as possibility on several occasions, and now it seems as if that dream has been pushed beyond my reach. No, that doesn’t mean I’m going to get all crazy and desperate. Hardly. It just means that this season is one of longing and emptiness. I am trying to allow Christ to fill that void, but it is a battle. I want to be loved by someone here on earth. I want the kind of love I can trust and rely on no matter what firestorm life throws us. I want my partner in this life – one who I can build up and encourage, take care of and nurture…but also someone who will care for me in turn. It’s a partnership, relationships. Each posses the necessary strengths and weaknesses to compliment the other and together they are whole.

I’m getting sappy and romantic here. It’s 11:53pm, and I should be sleeping. I just have this longing going on and it’s making me think back to the recent relationship and the pain of leaving everything that was. I have to remind myself of the conviction I had and have regarding this situation. It’s all that keeps me silent and separate. Anyway. It’s bed time. Goodnight.

The Blog About Love and Forrest Gump

{ August 16, 2006 @ 5:22 pm } · { G, Legitimate Insight, Quoting the Brilliant }
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I’ve spent the last few weeks thinking and bouncing ideas off of people – kind of taking inventory of what it is I believe in this life. Everything from relating to people on this Earth, to ethics, to love, up to and including God. The thing that I keep coming back to is a familiar movie. I’ve watched it many times before, but it wasn’t until I saw it sometime early July-ish that something caught my attention. I watched scenes play out following the life of Forrest Gump but whatever happened to him, in some way it always came back to his deepest love – a girl named Jenny. Here’s a little bit of dialogue from a particular scene that I can’t quite forget.

Forrest Gump: Will you marry me?
[Jenny turns and looks at him]
Forrest Gump: I’d make a good husband, Jenny.
Jenny Curran: You would, Forrest.
Forrest Gump: But you won’t marry me.
Jenny Curran: You don’t wanna marry me.
Forrest Gump: Why don’t you love me, Jenny? I’m not a smart man, but I know what love is.

I remember watching this and something in me felt this deep longing for that type of affection. Granted, the film is fictional and Gump is given the words of many brilliant writers, but the idea is one so extraordinary that it manages to get me every time. No matter what Jenny did, no matter where she went or who she was with or what damage she did to herself in the process, there was one thing in her life that remained the same – Forrest still loved her. She came from an abusive home life, ran off and ended up wrapped up with guy after guy, eventually ended up in prostitution and addicted to drugs…but after all this, all Forrest saw was the girl he met as a child. He didn’t look at her circumstances or actions (nor blame her for what she got hersef into by her own free will) but rather offered his love unconditionally. He found her in a strip club with men pawing at her and all he could do was try to rescue her.

Her response to all this is even more interesting. Up until the last quarter of the movie, she is either frustrated or merely tolerant of the protection and love he offers her. It isn’t until she’s tired and broken that she allows him to do what he’s always wanted – to love her.

Jenny Curran: Why are you so good to me?
Forrest Gump: You’re my girl!
Jenny Curran: [pause] I’ll always be your girl.

The female/chick/human side of me would only dare to hope to have that sort of love in this lifetime. Unconditional. Irrational. Completely unselfish. Far too many people only look for prospetive mates in regards to what that person can offer them. Then at the first sign of weakness or trouble, they’re done. Not worth their time. I’m not saying that we should just live our lives for ourselves and hope someone will put up with it. THAT would be irrational and selfish. But if both parties, whether friends or lovers, could adopt this way of loving this world would be such a better place. Forrest Gump had it right.

And the funny thing that I realized is that as much as I want this sort of thing from another human being, I already have it in God. Granted, I have trouble trusting it at times when the evidence of life points to the contrary. It’s hard to believe that God loves you completely and unconditionally when he allows pain and heartbreak to happen. It’s hard to trust that he doesn’t condemn you when the things you want most are taken away. I tend to think that it’s God judging me for the mistakes I make. He knows what I want, so he takes it from me as punishment. I’m told this isn’t the heart of God. I’m told (by brilliant people and scripture to back them up) that God is a God of Love. The kind of love that I, as a human, can equate to Forrest Gump love. All consuming, unconditional, and ever-present. As fallen people we really are so undeserving. We’re messed up and lost but the offer is still on the table. We’re all Jennys.

I wish I had a witty comment to close this thing out with. Really, it’s just a lot of pent up thoughts typed onto a screen for a few people to browse through. I hope it makes sense in the end. Or, perhaps this will do:

Forrest Gump: That’s all I have to say about that.

Currently listening :
Eyes Open
By Snow Patrol
Release date: 09 May, 2006